Start Trying

tumblr_me1j03a0161rll3t5o1_500Those compliments showered at me and awe for how well I do,
I appreciated them for it’s something I work for and want to be good at.
At the same time I feel responsible too,
For sharing my knowledge and not let the others fall flat.

I don’t know why I feel this way,
When others obviously don’t give a hoot.
I try to help day by day,
As much as I could.

But language is not something that’s mastered in a day,
You have to read, write and speak endlessly.
Only hard work will guarantee tomorrow’s pay,
Tackle the subject relentlessly.

If you only knew what I’ve acquired didn’t come overnight,
You would’ve taken some time to practice too.
It’s never too late to come out and fight,
For the only thing that’s holding you back is you.

I can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves. I will stop trying too hard, but if you need me, I’m here.

Sudden Reminiscence

Whenever I’m around kids in my school (kids, in my book means any student younger than me, especially those afternoon session’s kids) I would somehow be either annoyed or “weirded out” by their behaviour. I never liked kids so I’m constantly annoyed by them, but at the same time I find them cute, too. I can’t explain why they irritate me (because I’m not so sure myself), but I think it has something to do with their immaturity. And by “weirded out”, it’s in a sense where I find that they remind me so much of my younger self in certain ways. The old, immature, innocent and “pure” me. From the way they speak to the way their faces beamed (and partly because of their flawless, pimple-less faces)–it’s a constant reminder of how carefree I was, too, which is a contrast from the now more analytical me.

I remember how much fun I had with the people I met in high school whom I called best friends; some are still in touch; some parted ways, but regardless, every bit of memory created those few years back will forever be remembered and I’ll always be grateful to have met any of the people I did.

Violating Emotions

There are certain fragment of time frames where conversations fall apart and every time we speak our mind, it explodes into an argument. Times like these happened numerous occasions before and I’ve realized sometimes even though we’re right, even though we found what the other person said completely irrational or just plain rubbish, we have to hold it in and suppress our emotions instead of letting it pour out, no matter how much we really, really want to. Because the truth is, relationships and bonds between people that were formed before the downfall is far too precious to let subside. In that particular moment where we could feel a conversation falling apart, we could decide to stop and walk away, or to continue pressing our differing points in hopes the other party miraculously finds some sense. Miraculously, because, people in general are egoistic and wants to be right all the time, so it’s highly unlikely in an argument someone just decides to be in wrong.

So, what I’ve learnt is to keep quiet when a potential outburst is about to occur. No matter what the other person said to me, how much it hurts to listen to such stabbing words, I’ve decided it’s best to not take it to heart, especially if that person is someone dear and of significance. It’s best to ignore and just remember that people have bad days, some more than others, but it doesn’t define who they actually are. I may not be able to contain myself in certain situations, but usually I find myself regretting ever uttering such harsh words just to defend myself.

Sometimes silence is all that’s needed.