Honestly

As I’m in the middle of this journey of discovering my niche as a writer, I’ve come to realize I’m more interested in expressing myself through the stories I write – my thoughts, beliefs, opinions, etc. – rather than have writing as an outlet of creative relief. I guess sometimes it is both, but usually it leans to the former than the latter. Writing is more of a medium of expression for me. I feel like I’m more interested in being genuine and real with the stories I write rather than being creative with it like creating a mythical or fantasy world. That being said, it can get scary sometimes to put my heart on paper knowing people – strangers – would read them. It is even scarier if the people I’m writing about read what I write about them. That thought puts pressure on me when I think about what they would think of the words I never had the courage to speak in real life being put on paper.

That constant reminder in my head like the ticking of a watch, a never ending noise in the background I may or may not notice, but it’s there. Sometimes the story I want to write about is so emotionally real that it makes me afraid to even write it out. I don’t know whether it’s judgment I’m afraid of anymore or if it’s the emotion itself instead. Maybe I’m afraid to pull the bandage of the wound, lest it starts bleeding, and I don’t know what to do if it does.

And then I resort to procrastination because it’s easy. But I know no matter how I delay or distract myself, I cannot push the nudging thoughts away until I write them down. I cannot be at peace with myself until I do. It’s hard, but I have to get over it.

9 thoughts on “Honestly

  1. I always love your posts. 🙂 Just stopping by to say hello. You followed me on my old blog Down Home Divaish. I took a much-needed break and decided to start up again. Stop by and visit if you get a chance. I look forward to your next post!

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    1. Hello Rosita! It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing well! Thank you for still catching up with my blog 🙂 I see you’ve started an Etsy shop and that’s awesome 😀 I hope it goes well. Will you be updating Down Home Divaish any time soon?

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      1. No, I don’t believe I will. I’m going into a new chapter of my life and it just seemed to fit the part to start fresh. I’m blogging at Artsy Sita now, https://artsysita.wordpress.com/ Mostly my Etsy shop stuff, crochet, and a whole lot of my perspective lol, but I also recently came out of a deep depression (ugh I just hate calling it that, but it is what it is), so I want to help others with it if I can.

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  2. You can always write somebody out anonymously. Your posts always strike a chord in my heart and I sincerely hope that you won’t give up on updating in this blog. I have benefited so much by learning from you. You have thought me so much through this medium of writing! Everytime I will anticipate your blog posts and read them immediately after you post them. See it as a form of good deed, educating people, giving positive impact. Hope that you can really continue writing.

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    1. Thank you so much for saying that. You’re so sweet and you have no idea how much that means to me. I’m so grateful you feel that way about my writing 🙂 Don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

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