Hi there. This is going to be one of those mandatory year end posts like the one I did last year. I’m well aware it’s the last day of January now and February is tomorrow, but my head’s been nudging me to write this since December, and since I’ve finished my finals and now I finally have the time, I’m going to write this down now.
Looking back, I realized I haven’t been recording down much about what happened in the past year. There are fragments here and there, but they don’t represent the year as well as I hope they would. I could only pick out the highlights of the year through memory now because I took them for granted. My memories will fade and I shouldn’t have thought I would remember the moment as well as I could in the moment when I was experiencing it. It is evident when I went through my old journals, the ones date back to 2007, where I’ve written some stuff only vaguely, which at that time I probably thought I would’ve known what I was writing about, instead I have no recollection of it at all. And that makes me kind of sad.
I know there’s no point in wishing for the inevitable. My memory’s gone and I can’t get it back, instead I’ve decided to not let the same thing happen again this year. Normally I don’t make new year’s resolutions, I just don’t believe in them. I’d like to face the year as it comes and what with all the nonsense about people not keeping up with their resolutions, I thought why bother? But now, I think I should make one. Just one: to write down the events that happen in my life no matter how extraordinary or mundane. I have to write as frequently as possible, at least once a week. Doesn’t have to be on this blog (I don’t think you guys would be interested anyway, heh) it could be in my phone or in my journal. I just have to make the effort to write.
But overall, I do recall 2014 to be a year of many firsts for me. What I learnt this year is that I have to actively try my best to make things happen for me if I want them to happen. I’m not the type of person who will randomly be approached by people offering me once in a lifetime opportunities. I heard about an actress getting picked up by an agent at age 7 at a shopping centre, but I know and I’m well aware that I’m not that lucky. Throughout the past year, wonderful things happened to me because I took a chance and somehow it worked. I know chance can be a tricky thing. You don’t lose anything, unlike risks, but it’s called a chance because it’s something out of your comfort zone. You have fear tugging at the back of your mind telling you not to bother, not to even put a foot forward because you’re going to fail anyway. It’s up to you to prove fear wrong, that you are willing to take that chance. You don’t have to be brave or have courage, you just have to not care. Don’t care about the outcome. Don’t think.
The two standouts from last year would be when I found out I was one of the recipients of the scholarship from The Star, and the DerpCon (a fan convention of one of my favourite bands, 5 Seconds of Summer) contest. I took chances for both occasions.
I didn’t win the contest.
That’s also another thing about chance, it’s called a chance because you don’t always win.
I got into the top 3 for the DerpCon contest and got invited to Hitz fm for the final showdown. I lost on the first round. Of course I was bummed. I was so close. But I think there are two ways to look at this (after I got over feeling sorry for myself): I could mourn over the missed opportunity to meet 5SOS, or I could see it as an experience. Honestly prior to this, I’ve never ever filmed a semi-professional looking video before and one of the videos I did somehow made it to the top 3. Even though I lost, there were so many new things that happened to me that day. I got premiere passes to One Direction’s Where We Are concert movie, which included a free buffet dinner (I was not expecting that) and when I got home, my Twitter and Instagram was bombarded by support from 5SOSFams. It was crazy (and kind of awesome to be honest) to be popular even though it lasted for like, only 5 minutes. I know none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t tried.
I didn’t think when I tried out for the scholarship, I didn’t think when I joined the DerpCon contest either. I just thought, why not? And I’m so thankful it turned out well.
What I’m trying to say is that, if you’re like me, then chances are things don’t and won’t happen to you unless you actively try to make it happen. So if you’re reading this, I hope you take chances, maybe even risks especially if it’s something you’re passionate about. Not many people have a passion for something, not many people know what they want to do in life or what they like to do even, so if you do, pursue it. It’s already uncommon for someone to have a passion, it’s even more uncommon for someone to succeed in it. Go the extra mile, try and see if it works out. If it doesn’t, then at least you’ve tried and won’t be left wondering “what if”.
So it’s 2015 now. My January was filled with lots of coffee in order to finish my assignments on time, catching up with friends, playing with my cat, shopping and being very homebound. I look forward to the rest of the year 🙂
(On the side note, I reread my 2013 post and found out I had 7 followers that year. Now I have 94 and I think the A to Z Challenge largely contributed to that. Thank you.)