A little birdy told me you were seen out with some other guy. Heartbroken would be an understatement of how I felt. Still, I tried to remain positive through it all. Rumours were no indication of the truth. Phone calls at night felt the same to me. We talked about every day life, and you were more enthusiastic than me as usual. I didn’t bring up what I was told, needn’t to.
During my break, I decided to give you a surprise, to show up when you least expect me to. Your friend told me you said you were going to the park that day, surely that was where I’d be headed to. And then I saw you kissing another guy. I did. The same one I was told? Possibly. My world collapsed then, shattered and broken. You looked so happy and comfortable around him, the same way you were around me. I wanted to beat up that guy real bad, but I held it in. I suppose you were as much to blame. The thought of letting my anger on you, and making you feel as bad as I was feeling, it was more than I could handle. I loved you, so much it hurts. For some reason you couldn’t feel it. Once upon a time you did, something changed and you didn’t anymore. I couldn’t figure out what.
You called and told me in your usual bubbly, high pitched voice that you had fun playing at the park with your friend today, careful to leave out who that friend was. “I know,” I said, “I was there.”
Your voice trembled, and you were saying sorry and making up excuses as to why and how it happened. Had you known you could have just said you didn’t feel the same anymore, things would have been a lot easier.
The next morning, I put a note in front of your dormroom, and I should have just left by then, but I stuck around, obstructed by a wall, and waited for you to come back. It didn’t take long. When you saw the note, you cried. I wondered if I made the right choice, seeing how you reacted, it was more painful than seeing you with him.
I’m sorry for neglecting you, for leaving you behind while I pursued my dreams. You were never secondary to me, but you probably felt that way, that you could never compete with my passion for music. I don’t blame you for what you’ve done, and though I wish you well and anything less is undeserving of you, I think after what you did, I deserve to at least say this: you were happy and I was alone. And I hope you remember that.