“Why are you always like this?” I asked him, unable to suppress my anger any longer. Annoyance was bare and exposed through my voice, and I didn’t care anymore.
“What on earth do you mean? Something came up, it’s not like I could help it.” He inevitably shared the same emotions as I did, undeservingly so.
“The first time I was fine with, the second I could still tolerate, this time I’ve heard enough.” It was always work with him. Always.
“Honey, I had to meet with my clients, it’s my job. I couldn’t just cancel on them. Why are you being so irrational?”
“I’m not, you are! Job my foot. According to Ethan’s Instagram, you guys had a blast!” Ethan was a mutual friend of ours, he was our cupid actually, the one who introduced us. I sounded undeniably silly getting jealous over Ethan’s friendship with Marcus, but it had been three months since we last saw each other in the flesh. Was it not normal for me to want to see him when I’d missed him terribly?
“You’re not supposed to see that.”
“Really? Wow. What else are you hiding from me, Marcus?”
“No, I don’t mean it like that. Honey–”
“Forget it.” I hung up.
Unbelievable. Was he lying about being busy all this time? Sitting on the cold, hardwood floor, I started imagining what he could’ve, would’ve said in our next conversation.
I’m sorry, honey. There’s something I should let you know. No, he wouldn’t have said honey if he were to confess something bad. Carrie. He hardly said my name after we started dating. That thought alone made my stomach uneasy. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed myself a chocolate bar.
Carrie, to be honest, I was avoiding you all this time. I was afraid of confronting you. I took a bite of the chocolate after throwing myself on the couch, failing to shut my thoughts away. What would Marcus say?
I met a girl, and she’s beautiful. I’m sorry, I know no matter how many sorries I muster it wouldn’t make anything right. Please forgive me. My eyes welled up at that. Definitely one of the worst things any man could’ve said to a woman, scratch that, it was the worst thing. Period. He wouldn’t do that, Marcus is anything but that. “Stop it, Carrie. You’re over exaggerating,” I told myself with renewed sadness when I’d finished eating the chocolate. If only I had more stocked in my fridge. Never had I finished a full chocolate bar on one go before, then again I never foresaw Marcus cheating either.
Dusk crept in, slowly blanketing the sky a jet black, and artificial lights started making their appearance. Amidst the lonely, pathetic night I was having–filled with The Vampire Diaries reruns, which I’d concluded vampires make better boyfriends–my phone’s ringtone blasted.
It was Marcus.
This was it, we were going to break up after 2 years. Carrie, you’re the most insecure, irrational, inconsiderate woman I’ve ever dated. I couldn’t take it anymore. I shouldn’t have been jealous of him putting his friends before me. His life didn’t revolve around me, I shouldn’t have thought it did.
“Hello?” I answered the phone.
“Carrie,” he said softly. There it was, my name. Loud and clear. “I’m sorry.”
I waited, expecting the worst. When I didn’t say anything, he continued. “About hanging out with Ethan, my meetings got canceled at the last minute and I ran into him at our usual joint. You know Ethan, I couldn’t leave after that. I thought it’d be better if you didn’t know.”
It sounded like Ethan alright. Friendly, sociable and caring, but also persuasive, cunning and ignorant. The best at being a lawyer. “It’s not the first time, Marcus. I hardly ever see you anymore,” I said, baring a little more sadness in my tone than I had liked.
“I know. I’m a jerk.”
“And I’m insecure, irrational and inconsiderate.”
He laughed. “Your words, not mine, but I love you anyway. Don’t cry.”
“I’m not,” I said, covering my sniffs and choked up voice as best I could. He was right, I was a teary mess.
“You’re lying again.”
“I can see you stuffing a tissue up your nostrils,” he said in a cheeky tone.
I looked down from my bedroom window and saw him looking up right at me. When he noticed I was staring, he gave me a wave and a faint smile. “You’re the worst! How could you look at me knowing what a mess I look like?” I said and quickly moved away from the window, so he couldn’t see me anymore.
He grinned. “I know, how did I end up with someone so unattractive?”
“Leave me alone.”
“Nope, you wanted a date today and you’re getting one,” he said, almost as if he was shouting it to the world, then let himself in my house–with the spare key I gave him last year–and up my bedroom, where he pulled me in a tight hug.